I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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