This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
