so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
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you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
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"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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