Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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