Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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