seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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