Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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