Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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