I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize