I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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