did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
