I'm jealous of your bromance
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
