U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
