just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
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Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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