but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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