I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
