I'm gonna have a badass scar
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize