please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
