hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
