dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
