There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
