I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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