ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
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Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
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It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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