How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
