All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
