if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize