thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize