he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
