can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
