I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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