And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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