don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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