In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Never underestimate the power of titties
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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