Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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