problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
