chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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