There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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