I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
