Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
