im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you didnt know i had herpes?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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