By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
