We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
