so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
