I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
