I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
