3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
