shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
