you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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