you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
