If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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