Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
