One girl and one boy is just not enough.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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