dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
