love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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