bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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