thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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