And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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