end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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