My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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