blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
