Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
