is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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