They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize