just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
