I hate all girls vehemently.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
