I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
