He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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